


All the waters are rising

by milkywaywide



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 02:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15876513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkywaywide/pseuds/milkywaywide
Summary: Uri clenches his fists so very hard that Saiko can see angry red half-moon marks on his palms and Mucchan tries (and fails) to hide his tears behind his hair and eyepatch; she thinks of his right eye submerged in salty water, which is funny, ridiculous and out of place in such a sad moment (Shiragin would have found it funny too, Saiko thinks, and that thought couldn’t have possibly come in a worse time).





	All the waters are rising

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to [Chiie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dekuuu/pseuds/Chiie) for betaing this and generally for being very nice because it took me forever to finally finish writing it!

Uri knows not to push Saiko but he insisted she and Mucchan went along to visit Haru, Shiragin’s poor sister, a month after _it_ happened. Saiko didn’t want to go but she couldn’t find the strength to tell him “no” at that point. She wished Maman hadn’t gone MIA; if he’d been here this whole thing would have been so much easier.

But it is what it is and so they go, the three of them, guilt plain as day, to find Haru just laying limp on that bed, that monstrous thing coming out of her eye. They stand there, awkwardly, out of place, and nobody says anything. The sound from the machines, the beeping and whirring, echoes so loudly in the room Saiko wonders whether they are just measuring her vitals or if it’s more than that, if they’re actually keeping her alive. Not that it matters anyway.

Uri clenches his fists so very hard that Saiko can see angry red half-moon marks on his palms, Mucchan tries (and fails) to hide his tears behind his hair and eyepatch; she thinks of his right eye submerged in salty water, which is funny, ridiculous and out of place in such a sad moment (Shiragin would have found it funny too, Saiko thinks, and that thought couldn’t have possibly come in a worse time).

Saiko, though, surprises even herself when she doesn’t cry; she doesn’t do anything, just stands there feeling empty and half-thinking _this is just a bad dream this is just a bad dream Shiragin will come yelling at Saiko to wake the fuck up anytime now this isn’t happening_.

But it wasn’t, and when they get back to the Chateau the only Shiragin any of them can see is from the photo Maman had insisted they take on the very first day of moving there: a crumpled polaroid stuck to the fridge by a star-shaped magnet. The moment, frozen in time by Akira-san, with her tiny white polaroid camera, showed Maman standing proud, if not a little awkward, behind a smiling Saiko and a shy Mucchan, flanked by an angry Uri and a grinning Shiragin.

Saiko feels like it goes without saying that she misses those days.

So in the name of those days they make a pact. They won’t let Haru lose her health insurance, they won’t let her die, she is _not_ alone in this world. Uri takes up a habit of going to visit her every two months and sometimes (before all those things happen to him) Mucchan goes along.

Uri asks Saiko once if she’d like to go with him, his first visit after Mucchan got kidnapped by that gross Torso guy. Saiko’s reaction is probably a little more visceral than necessary, and before she can help herself she bursts into tears, ugly crying to the point she gets a headache for the rest of the day.

Uri just comes and holds her, awkward and stiff, not saying anything. When Saiko finally stops heaving he lets go of her and doesn’t mention it ever again, something she’s more than happy to comply with.

He diligently continues to visit Haru, but never asks Saiko if she’d like to come again.

Uri then frames out, suffering disguised as anger, big and scary, sharp edges and violence hiding a lonely child that just needs to feel loved. And it’s not like Saiko had never noticed his loneliness before; she just didn’t know how to approach it, because Uri is nothing if not a proud bastard and every time she tries talking to him about anything he just shuts her out.

Remorse tugs still at her stomach, the ugly and unbearable feeling of having failed a loved one. But they can’t talk about it now because work never stops, now something else needs their attention and Uri is _such_ a busy person.

Next thing Saiko knows, Maman’s getting murdered on television.

From then on, everything goes to shit.

Mucchan’s chasing after poor Yoriko, accusing her of protecting a ghoul, and Saiko tries not to think of the scent of human blood on him, on his hands and his clothes, how she could even smell it on his breath when he spoke to her. Then that _thing_ pops out of the ground and now everyone’s just running around like crazy trying to make amends.

They find Mucchan and Shinsanpei in the middle of the ruckus, attacking Maman’s wife. Saiko feels yet again remorse tugging at her stomach and her heart shrinks into an olive when she looks at him, desperately wanting someone he could never have, another lonely child kicking out at the world and getting kicked back a lot harder.

She thinks of Shiragin, how none of this would have happened if he was still alive and how much she misses him.

How much she misses Mucchan and Maman, as well.

 _Saiko’s family is falling apart_ , she realizes, and if her heart wasn’t already broken, it certainly breaks now.

And Saiko almost gives up in that moment, but she has to do _something_ because Saiko doesn’t want anyone else to die.

She won’t _let_ anyone else die.

So she steps up and in that moment, Saiko realizes she is a coward. And she _understands_ just how much of a coward she is when Mucchan hurts her and she reacts to it: Badly, to say the least, thinking that Uri would have taken it much more gracefully (and he does).

But she doesn’t want Uri getting hurt anymore; he’s so willing to take a hit it seems like he wants to show the broken from the inside out and this worries her a lot.

Plus, Saiko very much thinks this bullshit Mucchan is pulling has to stop.

So she lets him hurt her even if it hurts so so bad and scares her even more than it hurts; she lets Mucchan hurt her because she loves Uri and she loves Mucchan so so so much (even more than she is afraid of getting hurt and dying).

It nearly kills them both, but Saiko and Uri finally manage to convince Mucchan that he _is_ loved, that maybe his real family was the very worst, but that now _they’re_ his family and they would never do anything to hurt him.

That they will always be there to stop him when he wants to hurt himself. That the path to healing is long and hard but they'll be right by his side every step of the way and even if Mucchan never quite forgets his shame over this, Maman is all forgiveness and warm smiles.

And Mrs. Maman is just so pretty, Saiko loves her from the get-go. She can see why Maman loves her, too. Touka-chan simply radiates security, something the admittedly messy Qs could never give him and something he so desperately needed.

She’s also giving Maman something _else_ the Qs could never give him, Saiko then finds out.

And she can’t wait to meet the little bunny.

**Author's Note:**

> Still bitter my blue haired princess Saiko didn't get an arc so here's something I started writing so very long time ago and really suffered to deliver. Title was, ahem, "borrowed" from a The National song. Thanks for reading! <3


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